Welcome to Moistech
Creating moisture-based technology solutions for you!
Our Corporate Legacy
Proudly performing high-humidity engineering since 1984.
Core Operations
Explore AM (Artificial Moistelligence) and DIAPER Fusion protocols.
Future Innovations
From intellectual property migration to classical Irish dance.
Get in Touch
Connect with our Lansing headquarters or ping us on FidoNet.
About Us
Moistech has been proudly developing moisture-based technology since 1984. Our target audience is children, which leak profusely, so we thought "why not base all our technology on goo?"
Core Technologies
Computing
Our computing products are based on the finest damp ex-Soviet knock-offs of 1980's technology. Pick up a Moistech PC today and enjoy dialing into the 5 BBS's still online for some reason!
Artificial Moistelligence
Everyone is all-in on AI right now, but what about babies that don't know how to use computers? That's where our new AM technology comes in. All the little critter has to do is drool on the keyboard and our software will do the rest.
D.I.A.P.E.R Fusion Technology
Renewable energy is a great solution to our over-reliance on fossil fuels, but it does nothing to reduce the world stockpile of hazardous diaper waste. However, our new Deuterium Irradiated Alpha Particle Excrement Reformation (DIAPER) technology eliminates all that waste and reforms it into clean un-natural gas!
Research & Development
Moistech is a research leader in many exciting scientific fields! Listed below are just some of the exciting research opportunities you could be a part of if you join our team:
- Waste Mismanagement
- Intellectual Property Theft
- Child Labor
- Clean Un-Natural Gas Technology
- Riverdance
Contact Us
Corporate Headquarters:
Moistech LLC
123 W Puddle St #1900
Lansing, MI 48933
Voice Communications:
517-438-6647 (517-GET-MOIST)
FidoNet Node:
1:11/667
📟 [BBS Terminal Matrix Offline]
Please submit queries via 1200 baud modem or physical post.